Please like me!
One of my best pals Karen and I had not been writing regularly on our blogs for various reasons this year. Whenever we have fallen out of the writing habit in the past, we reactivated by blogging every day for a month, which helped us redevelop a writing habit, which is half the battle of writing, at least for me. Karen is much more disciplined than I am when it comes to writing. Even she shows signs of cracking every once in a while, though. This time around, we decided that every day blogging would be too onerous given our schedules, so we decided to revive our writing habit by posting one per person on alternating days.
Karen’s posts usually get many more likes than mine on Facebook, which makes me a little jealous. I rationalize the disparity. Her writing quality is much more consistent. My writing quality has been uneven, which I attribute to the long lapses between my writing sprees. She is very funny. People prefer to read funny things over sad confessionals like mine. When I run into people who tell me they liked something I wrote, I want to shout, “Then why didn’t you like it on Facebook?!” But that would be a very uncool thing to say so I simply reply, “Thank you!”
Posting links to our blogs on Facebook every day gives us the illusion of accountability. Once I publicly announce my intention to write on a regular basis, I feel guilty when I do not meet the deadlines. There are no real world repercussions for not writing, though, aside from self-flagellation. No one seems to notice when I do not write and Karen does not give me a hard time when I slack off.
I know some people are paying close attention to my Facebook posts even if they do not publicly like or comment on things that I post. One person I know has sent me text messages within minutes of me posting a picture of something I have been doing that she had wanted to do. She entreats me to invite her to similar things in the future. I don’t post my whereabouts as frequently anymore.
Other people have complained to me that I do not like enough of their things on Facebook. Maintaining Facebook friendships requires a delicate balance of quid pro quo. If we are friends in real life and doing a good job of nurturing those friendships outside of the digital world, though, I do not think we should be required to underscore those friendships with digital touches, too. On the other hand, I crave Facebook likes so I suppose I should be liking their things if I want them to like my things. One of my closest friends does not have a Facebook page. We tell each other in person how much we like each other!
I can think of two couples who “met” on Facebook. One person spotted his future girlfriend when she was tagged in a photo that a mutual friend posted. He liked the photo, made a clever comment, then digitally stalked her enough to discover mutual interests that he could use as pretense to engage her in conversation in private messaging. Referencing the mutual friend helped legitimize the connection. They dated for over two years.
Sometimes I like a random person’s post to send them a subtle message that conveys I am paying attention to them, or I genuinely like what they have posted, or I want them to know I exist, or I want them to take a look at things that I have posted. One person became a good friend after she started liking many of my Facebook posts. When I noticed her name popping up over and over, I checked out her posts, many of which aligned with my interests. When we finally met in real life, I already knew we were compatible. We still don’t spend a great deal of time together in real life, but we communicate via frequent Facebook comments, which seems to work for our friendship.
